This month is national humor month. I decided that now is a great time to regale you all with the comedy show that was my high school.

I went to a ridiculous high school called Calabasas High School. You may have heard of Calabasas from celebrities such as the Kardashians and Justin Bieber. Take every crazy stereotype of those celebrities and insert them into the little, affluent, unsupervised 14-17 year-old high schoolers. Most of these kids were born into wealth and never worked a day in their lives. Drugs, sex, and car accidents galore. Plus, we can’t forget the clichéd valley girl accent.

Needless to say, I opted out of the madness by choosing not to have too many friends in high school.

The teachers weren’t much better. The circus of a Spanish department included a Dutch Spanish teacher and a teacher who would tantrum and pee in her pants on a regular basis. It was almost traumatizing to have her scream, cry, and throw things at us, never mind the pee. I had a cartoon for a chemistry teacher from Kansas with the definition of a hillbilly accent. He made it very clear that he smoked weed and liked beer. He would write a warmup, which he called a “do now”, on the board at the beginning of class every day and sing:

Doo da ba doo da ba doo da do now!

The choir teacher ironically got nodes on his vocal cords from screaming at us so much, and we once got busted because one of my friends was using spray-on deodorant and our vice principal thought that we were “spraying drugs.”

All of this to preface the real entertainment for you.

I survived my senior year of high school by writing down all of the dumb things that I heard my fellow students say. Now, years later, I can share them with you lovely people. Take a look and have fun laughing.

Happy National Humor Month!

One Reply to “Dumb Things I Heard at Calabasas High School”

  1. Goodness, haha! As a teacher, I’ve heard a whole bunch of really funny/strange things said to me by students over the years. One was shock and awe that they (the student) were born on their birthday. It seemed to be fresh news to that 11 year old!

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