There is one thing that 2020 has not taken away from us, and that is more wild Florida People headlines.
Get ready to laugh because Florida People are at it again! Here are some of the best Florida People stories of 2020:
Apparently he tried to pay for a hotel room with counterfeit money. How he thought he’d fool anyone with Chinese writing, I’ll never know.
After hearing screams of, “help! Help! Let me out!” from his neighbor’s house, a man called the cops. When they got there, however, they found out that the person screaming for help was, in fact, a green parrot named Rambo. It’s still a mystery why a person would teach their parrot those words, however.
A Florida man wanted for stealing from the elderly was finally caught, thanks to the Amazon Alexa device. This is further proof that Alexa really is always watching.
Seriously – she’s not kidding. She wants to know how much the goats she purchased are worth.
Guys…. They didn’t even take the bullet out of her head.
6. Florida Police Made a Traffic Stop and Found a Bag Full of Drugs Fittingly Labeled ‘Bag Full of Drugs’
The police pulled over a man for a traffic violation and found a literal ‘Bag Full of Drugs”.
“Damages parked cars” seems to be a bit of an understatement in this situation. Apparently, a man backed out of a drive-thru and didn’t stop until he’d demolished these cars.
The candy cane caused bruising and swelling to his elbow. I didn’t know that candy canes were that dangerous.
And this wasn’t his first time, either! It seems like underwear is his disguise of choice.
The man was driving with a scented candle burning, which fell and lit a bunch of papers on fire. This prompted a warning sent out to local residents advising not to driving with fire.
11. Florida Man Tries to Avoid Arrest by Hiding Underwater in a Pond, Gets Caught When he Comes up for Air
It’s straight out of a Looney Tunes cartoon.
12. Florida Girl Puts ‘Help Get Me Out of Here’ Sign on Window Because She was Struggling with Homework
Someone saw the sign and called the cops, thinking there was a trapped person in there. What they discovered was a little girl struggling with math homework.
He used extortion to try and get money out of a car dealership – and when he was caught, pretended to be a prosecutor and declined to file criminal charges against himself. He is now facing seven felony charges.
I mean… I guess it sort of looks like a manatee?
The ‘deranged offender’ dropped these eggs in a bunch of mailboxes, violating coronavirus lockdown restrictions. She was caught because she concentrated her debauchery on one area.
The fun starts at around 50 seconds. Taking politeness to a whole new level!
He called 911 several times to ask them for liquor and ice cream. Because that’s who you call for all your grocery store needs.
I guess you call 911 for all your needs. Apparently she called 911 several times with non-criminal complains about her husband. Look at that face – she thinks she can get away with anything!
Now, for the coronavirus headlines.
You can imagine how coronavirus went down in Florida, and we have the headlines to prove it!
“This sounds really goofy — and it did to me too — but it works… Sometimes the cures for some of these diseases are very simple.” –Florida politician
I echo the awkward response he received when proposing this idea: “……………..Ok….”
Because what could be safer than a bunch of people WRESTLING during a PANDEMIC?
21. Florida ‘Church Leader’ Took Credit for Trump’s Bleach Idea, Charged in Miami for Selling Covid ‘Cure’
He called it a ‘Miracle Mineral Solution’, which was made from MMS, an industrial bleach. It was sold out of the made-up Genesis II Church of Health and Healing. I feel like people should already know this, but apparently they don’t: DON’T DRINK BLEACH!
22. At a Yoga Retreat in Bali, There was No Coronavirus. Florida Woman Came Back to a Reality with No Toilet Paper
Can you imagine? You go to an isolated island for a mediation and yoga retreat, only to emerge into a sci-fi movie…. And no toilet paper.
Florida People never fail to disappoint.
A somewhat entertaining end to a pretty horrible year. Onward to hopefully greener pastures!
My name is Andrea and I live in Los Angeles, California. By day, I am an actor and by night I am working towards a degree in nutritional science.