As we ended 2018, I reflected much over the past year. But, the one question that kept surfacing in my mind was “what were the best Florida Man headlines this year?”
If you’re anything like me, you love these whacky headlines. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s the deal: people from Florida are notorious for their loony escapades. Headlines from Florida men have become a classic source of mirth for many, so I have compiled a list for you of my favorite headlines of 2018.
I know that you can buy many important essentials at Walmart, but I’m pretty sure that children are not available for purchase.
He must be more adept with his feet than I am with my hands!
Did he even have any Jews to set on fire to begin with?
2/2 – Stolper was stopped with two additional gasoline containers in his possession. We are confident the work of our detectives prevented an imminent crisis at 5601 Collins Avenue.
— Miami Beach Police (@MiamiBeachPD) July 13, 2018
You can make cookies on a George Forman grill??
Oh, well, if that’s how it works….
es, I can see how it’s easy to mistake a person growing inside of you for over nine months with one night of bad Chinese food.
Dramatic irony at its finest. At least the crocodiles have something to wear on their feet now.
But is the lemur ok?!
Because that’s a fair trade.
Who needs pants when you have a hat and boots? And it’s Santa hat and boots, so it’s clean!
Florida Man Kicked out of Library for Watching Virtual Reality Porn After Forgetting to Plug in Headphones
It’s a wonder to me that he didn’t realize that the sound wasn’t coming out of those giant headphones.
I guess we can find consolation in the fact that he’s self-aware.
I appreciate this reporter’s pun more than anything.
Noodles and bongos – what more could you ask for?
Only in Florida would you come across a trailer of alpacas.
I’m impressed by his ability to stand the cold.
This reporter sets up a great timeline for us.
Because what beer run is complete without chasing people with a live alligator?
ANOTHER fork lift???
Chicken is serious business.
Well, what else are you gonna do when you break into someone’s home?
Right, because that’ll get you out of a ticket.
Hey, you’ve gotta inform the police about false advertising!
Everyone knows that killing your neighbors is the way to make your testicles feel better.
The important thing here is that the monkey was wearing a diaper.
I applaud him for his effort. It’s not easy hiding those zoo animals!
Because it’s ok for Captain Kirk to do it.
As much as I hate robocalls, I’m curious as to how long that took him.
Hey, I’d get angry over missing socks also
That’ll teach him!
And, my personal favorite….
Damn you, pants!!!! How could this completely attractive fashion statement betray me?
My name is Andrea and I live in Los Angeles, California. By day, I am an actor and by night I am working towards a degree in nutritional science.