Transformation is something that we hear about a lot online and in all forms of media. All over are these shows where the participants have a major weight loss, or restyle in order to “transform” them from what they were to who they are at the end. It’s easy to assume, then, that the end of the show is it. The “after” picture is where it stops, but it’s an ongoing process- and this is something that I found out for myself in 2018. I started the year with goals that I wanted to achieve, but, to be honest, they were pretty rubbish and very general, and I achieved 2 out of 5.
But they were set and that’s the main thing: the intention.
In 2018 I realized for the first time in a long time that I matter. That I have a role beyond washing and cooking, and that I’m a real person. This may seem obvious to you, but for stay at home mothers(and parents in general) it can be easy to forget. Last year I learned to say “no”, to put myself first, at least some of the time. I learned that it’s okay for me to hand the work over to my husband when he gets home and take a 30-minute shower. Just because he’s “been at work all day” doesn’t mean I should feel guilty in asking him to take over.
Going into 2019, I’m going to keep that up.
I’m going to keep having days inside with my toddler when I need to sit on the sofa all day, and I’ll let her entertain herself with too much screen time, too much sugar and puzzles all day, because it’s what I need. I’ll teach her about self-care, and that it’s okay to spend all day doing your nails, having a bath, washing your hair, eating salads and doing yoga if that’s what you need to feel better. I will instill in her what was never instilled in me. YOU are a person and YOU matter, and I will help her see that.
The other thing I’m going to do is not feel guilty for spending “family money” on something for myself. I’ve enrolled to go back to kickboxing, something I had to stop when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, something that I loved, that I put off going back to using the excuse of money being needed elsewhere. 2019 is MY year, and I need it for me; going there will push me to go running in between (something else I “stopped for my family”) and eat better, too (something I’ve just been good at in phases). 2019 will be the year I get the habits going that will mean I’m still here bugging the nation with my opinions for years and years and years to come.
Last year I learned to say “no”.
I learned to calm the mum guilt (a bit). This year I aim for a purpose! This year I AM going to break the freelance market and I WILL get paid to write. I WILL create a little business for myself that means that I can do what I love doing, in my home where I can still be there for my kids. I’ll go self-hosted with my blog and reach out to more people to tell their stories, or help them tell it if they don’t feel that they can.
This year, the transformation continues, because the hard work doesn’t end when the credits role.